Phew! I feel like pregnancy will never end. Tonight has been a little rough. I haven't found a position to sit, stand, or kneel comfortably for more than 10 minutes. I think dinner wants to come up the way it came down even though I ate about 3 hours ago and the hormones have come back from the first trimester to haunt me. I was watching an episode of Friends where Pheobe gives birth to her brother's triplets that she's been a surrogate for. She asks Rachel to ask her brother if she can keep one and of course she can't. She holds all three babies and says her goodbyes and then cries. I start crying right along with her thinking how I would never be able to give up a baby I had carried inside of me and I hurt for her. My crying didn't stop, but transitioned into a yearning to have my baby already in my arms. I found myself holding my belly saying (out loud), "I want my baby." oh....yes. That was me..by myself..in my dark living room crying over Friends then crying over wanting to have my baby. Hormones. Now I know that they will still have their lingering effects after the baby is here but at least there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
The truth is that although pregnancy has been difficult at times, overall it has been an amazing and even sacred experience. To think that a little piece of Chris and I is growing inside of me is nothing short of a miracle and I'm grateful for the sacrifice because it will make me love him all the more. I'm grateful that God has allowed us to help Him to create and bring His children to earth.
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